More Anxiety

Does anyone else get anxiety when they travel?

I'm not really talking about a good anxiety. It's almost like that pre-surgery anxiety. You know you'll be better off when you're on the other side but getting there is going to be scary and possibly painful.

That's where I am.

I didn't get this way before we went to Arizona. I think that's because there were more factors within my control. The kids were with me, the husband was with me and we were in a car. I didn't have to deal with leaving anyone behind (Except for the house, which, yes, I had that whole "What if there's an earthquake or the house burns down or someone breaks into my houes" issue but that didn't turn my stomach like this thing turns my stomach. Those were irrational worries and mild obsessions. This is stomach turning anxiety.)

Maybe it's because there WAS an earthquake (albeit a few days after we got home, but there WAS one,) and the house COULD HAVE burned down because of the lampshade melting onto the lightbulb, that I'm feeling more anxious. 

But I think it comes down to two things:

Even though I LOVE feeling like a totally capable adult when I travel alone, Mary Tyler Moore Me turning on the world with my smile and even doing it IN Minneapolis at Nicolette Mall no less, I still would probably feel better having a more experienced travel companion with me. Post-9/11 airports intimidate me. I'll be FINE once I get there and I know it, but the idea of it makes me anxious.

And then there's that whole "I'm a bad mother leaving my kids, missing back to school night" blah blah blah thing. 

And then there's the whole "I've been out of touch with normal for a few weeks and I don't feel like I've been in touch with normal again, let alone had time to properly prepare for this and I know I'm going to forget something or that I've already forgotten things that should be on my list to do."

And THEN, this is the last one, I promise, I think I'm having this weird thing where I don't realize how often I DO travel. Twice a year I have conventions, twice a year DD and I go on a joint "business trip" locally but it's an overnight trip, At least once a year we go on a cub scout overnight somethingoranother. The only difference here is the flying part and I think that makes me feel like I should've spent more time planning because somehow, I don't "Travel" and therefore I don't REALLY know what I'm doing.

And, clearly, once again, instead of working around here and doing stuff, I'm sitting on the computer typing. (Although, in fairness, I did accomplish a number of things on my to-do list today already.)